Thursday, January 26, 2012

Life Lessons From Ms. Stella

So Here I am Kitties, surveying my domain, when yet again; I am accosted by plebeians!
A Queen's work is never done I'm afraid.
His name ( I'm told such things have names) is Ollie.
Ollie is not the freshest treat in the bag
 Observe closely his countenance.  Note the sloped forehead, wide set eyes, vacant expression. You can see the number of IQ points on his face can't you?
(this is a rhetorical question, of course you can't, as there aren't any )

"BBUUwwhaaaHAHAHAHA.... ahhh...hahah... ahHEM... I crack myself up"

Since he persists in pestering me for lessons on attack skills, I will again attempt to enlighten the wee mite. I   I enlist a guinea pig  helper. 
*Note: it's important to enlist the help of someone the neophyte knows to prevent intimidation and therefore lack of proper concentration*

Here is Elliott, he is marginally brighter than his siblicat.
And thus, We begin...
Ms. Stella:  "You there! Fluffy raggish thing.  Are you ready to assist in training your fellow littermate?"

Elliott: " Oh Yes, If It Please Your Majesty!"

Ms. Stella: "Good boy!"

Ms. Stella: "O-lolliberry? Observe please the correct whapping technique."

Ms. Stella continues: "When the intended victim target wanders close enough you need to reach out with your paw (that's the thing with the five sharps at the end of your leg there) and whap them like THIS!"

Elliott: "Oh Thank You Your Royal Highness, may i have another?"

Ms. Stella: "In My own time fluffy, heel!." 

Elliott: "Oh Thank You Majesty!"

Elliott: "Oh dear faithful viewers, you may wish to avert your gaze from HRH."  
Ms. Stella: "All right now O-whateveryournamewas...  it's your turn, you may approach Our Royal presence."

later that same day...

Ms. Stella: "It's back again isn't it?"


  1. Poor Stella, we see you are burdened much like our own Precious is. We hopes your catitude is better than hers! xoxo

  2. Ha ha ha ha ha! This is like the Great American novel: A noble protagonist, dimwitted secondary characters, a suspenseful plot, the eternal struggle between Good and Ebil.

    I would like more chapters, please!

  3. Good demo of whoming a litter mate. Too bad I don't have a litter mate to whomp on.

  4. Holly cow Ms.Stella ! Your abusive Queenly duties are impressive!! Your subservants seem to be well aware that they are beneath you in every way :)

    the critters in The Cottage xo

  5. Dear Ms Stella,
    Your post is a pawsome example of how us queens train our minions! Me gives yous a 10!

  6. Haha! Stella, that was an excellent demonstration. Scarlett could learn from you--sadly she gets bossed around by our resident fluffy raggish one.

  7. Miss Stella, you are wasting your time. Us Ornj Cats are unsubjugatable! We also like to make up new words.

    Yrs, Felix, CC and Scouty

  8. wha?? !!! You, uhh.... Missie Stellaflower, do you have two orange menace brofurs now? Oh .... good luck with that.
    Thanks for coming to our pawty, and yeah, send 'em over. I can handle them. I may be a little guy but I got the brains.

    huge bonks to all of you. Have fun flying too

  9. Royalty is just so much fun!

  10. You have your paws full...


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