This weekend I took time off from slave driving That Woman to
visit my bait bath and bait feeder.
MY chair is nestled in the shade between the two
ANd, right next to it is some bush That Woman calls 'Bird of Paradise', between you and me though I think she's smokin crack cos I ain't never seen no Bird of Paradise on it! Only thing that guards that monstrosity is the ebil hummers & the ants!
So without further ado
Here I are
Here's me checkin out my domain
and here's Mr. Chair playing coy with me
"Oh Mr. Chair,I can see right thru you!"
"Oh stop now, I'm a lady after all"
"Oh I heard that!"
"Ok Mr. Chair, this is for you!"
"I suppose I shouldn't be so mean, he's normally so supportive"
It's been like reeeeeely hot so we aren't allowed to go outside with That Woman when she waters and stuff. (ok, so like we don't trust her anywayz when she has the flying water snake in her hands and we prolly don't hazta tell you why).
So like, That Woman has been busy sewing stuff and then she gets on the computer to post pictures of her stuff, help us visit our furriends online. Well, the other day I was helping her and you know what I noticed that I never noticed before??? We haz FISH! And not just any fish but super slinkyrainbowfish! A whole yummy pile of 'em!
They lives in their own little pond right on the side of our blogs! I figure they must have a secret water tunnel to go from our blog to That Woman's blog. One of dese dayz I'm gonna find it.
Me & Clyde just hunkered right down to check it out...
well, um, ya, Clyde's got my back.
I was like so totally into it and I wasn't eben on Nip. Boy them fishies sure move around a lot.
"OH! OH! there's the white deaded maus too!"
*pounce mode activated*
"caaaaaak; caakkkaka; ccaaaaakakaka;"
"I'm gonna give 'em the ol pounce in 3..2..."
"OWWW, that hurths my nosth... sthupid forth field. Better try 'The Claw' instead of my nosth"
"Hi little fishies... dont'z minded me; i'm just waivin 'hi'."
"humpf; this fishing is harder than it looks"
Hope y'all catch some fun this weekend!
Note from That Woman: the letter d on my keyboard will not capitalize, and the shift key on the left side no longer works. I'm certain the reason for this is that the keyboard has suffered a key function fatality owing to pee wars between Miss Jenga & Missy Jack recently. We are chalking it up to ColCateral damage. MOL
Thank you for the kind thoughts about my ear ick. It seems to be doing better now but I have to do the ear drops which as y'all know is basically Chinese water torture. I mean it's one thing to dive into a pool and get water in your ears and quite another to drop water into them one drop at a time until you feel it trickle down to the eardrum and then fill up. *shivers* At least they don't hurt anymore.
she has upped the security around here with some hired muscle.
Word on the the street is she went way waaaay underground and ferreted out the notorious
Mr. Grey's has a reputation for excessive and malicious violence. Not even the major heavyweights in the underground crime syndicate hire him as his methods are so heinous even to them.
Any and all intrusions today were met with Ninja speed and the perpatrators instantly dispatched.
The photos below were taken by a random citizen who was delivering Cat Litter to the premises. Don't scroll down if you are of a fainty disposition (or a bb kitteh)
Mr. Grey: "you feelin' lucky punk?"
MG: "Go ahead, Make.My.Day. Human!"
"That's right! Back off punk! You better count them digits when you get home, I think you'll find you might be missing a few!"
Any attempts at libelous activity were met with equal ferocity.
MG: "What exactly do you think you are doing with this?"
That's right- nothing!Because it's difficult to write when your instruments are being ruthlessly tortured!
MG: "Don't fink I don't thee your hanths there, asth sthoon asth I finishth wif disth paperths you are nextth!"
Nor could he be lured by 'humanly wiles' of distraction
MG:"Oh, so you think you can use the ol' neck scritching relaxation technique on me eh? Well I was trained by the best & every day for many moons I was subjected to this form of torture until I became immune to it's effects!"
"HA HAH! FEE, I TOLD YOU STHO!"
Guess the maurading press will have to suck it up and
maybe get some actual work done this fine Sunday.
Good job Mr. Grey! I hope Ms. Stella is paying you well~
It has come to my attentions that I gotta make a statement in my own defense about recent incidents involving a certain cretin, Ornj Goon, Ornj Mancat.
I had nothing what so ever to do with him eating wasps I tell you!
I never did say 'they tasted like orange stripey fish'
(no one could have heard that )
NOR did I ever insinuate or otherwise infer
that after ingestion
magical hallucinations would occur.
(I would certainly have them all ingested by now if this were the case I can assure you)
For evidence in my own defense I present the following:
Exhibit A: does this face look like the face of supreme Feline intelligence to any of you?
(as compared to say, the photo above which is of course, the epitome of C.A.T.)
Truly, there is no court that would convict me on all this flimsy, highly circumstantial evidence!
Yes I happened to be lounging out in the grass
But I was NOT 'lurking with malicious intent'!
Preposterous! Slander! Lies I tell you!
And on top of all that he got to use up nearly all my stores of painkillers.
I mean, what am I to do now if I get attacked by a Monarch or some other wildly vicious creature?
Those little white moths are hellish nightmares! Oh sure they look all flity and dainty but you can't let that fool you! They have razor sharp fangs & claws and they spew venom from those tentacles sticking out of their heads! Aliens! A Ladycat needs her medicine chest stocked up. 'sall I'm sayin.