Sunday, March 06, 2011

And We Are Live In 3...2...

Hellooooo Kitties!    So THIS is what we've come to.
I must monitor my secretary to make sure she's doing her job & not 
'surfing' the net.  (Trust me; the mental image I have of her actually surfing is enough to put me off my treat bag!)

Anyhow; She came back from the wine tasting event this evening (Being a dutiful and understanding Master I recognized the need for morale building events like allowing her to leave for a short period of time) 
She didn't return all blotto in fact but quite calm & ready for that cuppa you see there. (Earl Grey; cream and fake sugar thank you-)

I close my eyes when she say's one...two...three cos I don't like the flashy thing.  

Humans... does it ever occur to you why we don't like the flashy box?  

Case in point.
When you see a cat sleeping like this; we know what you're thinking  something like 'Awww; wook at da widdle piddy sooo cute'.  We know  what your thinking cos we can hear you sayin' it outloud! Strike one!
 And we know what follows... footsteps away..... then footsteps returning... And then!  BLAM!
Just like that!  No warning, nothing!   It's like we live in a police state!  Anytime of the day or night our sound sleep can & will be repeatedly interrupted by the interrogation beam of death!  And you have the audacity to wonder why we barfs in your shoes...  (and they call us dumb animals)

Cat Fact:   
We Cat's can't see in total darkness, BUT we can see like a 1000 times better than humans can in ultra low ambient light.  Reason being we have more hardware in our eyeballs than you've got.  Probably to match the extra hardware we have in our brains!  MOL~!  (oh I crack myself UP! 
THAT'S a good one!)

Anyway; Our eyes are super sensitive to light okay? We have these giant gorgeous orbs you only dream of and  I think you're jealous! 
But that's no reason for you to go round disturbing people out of a sound sleep by flashing bright lights at us and making all your silly dribbly comments as you do so! 

For pity's sake, give a Cat a break.  We purrrr for you (granted sometimes we just purrr to calm ourselves); we rub on you (to mark you as our own); we meow at you even!  Did you know that Cat's started meowing at their humans as a way of communicating with them?  Cat's don't speak to each other this way in the wild so that means WE learned to speak FOR YOU!  Don't you feel special?   I believe that is why you can hear inflections in the meow many times.  

Case in Point.
Miss Jenga who has to stay in her own room yowls at the door when she hears That Woman.
When That Woman talks to her with the door closed she'll say something like
"Hi Miss Jengs; is it time for you to come out?" 
And Miss Jenga answers softly and at the end of her meow she makes her noise go up at the end like a question, 

Of course all you owned humans out there all ready know this.  But we, like you; tend to like passing helpful information on so there you have it.  Another interesting cat behaviour brought to you by Me. 

Oh, and try to keep the flashing thing to a minimum or we end  up doing this... 
and no one really likes to see this...
This is called 'Shuuunnn' or as Katnip Lounge aptly put it 'The Bum of Disrespect'.

All in all I think She has gotten her self a bit more organized this week & I'll be able to visit all my furrriends tomorrow, till then my lovlies! 

Ms. Stella O'Houligan


  1. Ms Stella, you should require your That Woman to photograph you in natural light only. Our Daddy stays home for that express purpose.

    btw--it is BUM of disrespect! We're enjoy being a tiny bit vulgar.

  2. Ms. Stella, we agree--natural light only. And if the flash must be used (and we can't think why), tell your mom to try holding a folded-up Kleenex in front of the flash (one or two layers). It helps to diffuse the light in a pinch, unless your mom has a real light diffuser.

    -Nicki and Derry

  3. Yep, that flashy thing can be a problem at times, but try convincing the humans of that!

  4. Ms. Stella, you are purrfectly right. Our eyes have to withstand all that horrible blast(s) of light. And mom smiled while reading what you wrote because she does say those dribbly things out loud. I give her the bum of disrespect and the closed eyes lowered head HINT! Which she gets but she persists anyway!


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