Monday, May 21, 2012


Heya Kittehs,
I got a story to tell ya
You will LOVE this!

Southern Alligator Lizard

ME (Ms. Stella)
That Woman

The Scene:
Beautiful  morning, sun shining, sprinklers going, warm already at 75 degrees.  That Woman is enjoying her cuppa on the patio swing; I prefer to sit on the bench just adjacent, just out of arms reach; naturally.

Enter the players...

Ollie & Elliot foundering somewhere in the bushes,  a great rustling is underway and suddenly, there is a great Ornj floof tearing across the grass towards us...

Oliver is yelling to us.  "HeY yoU gUyz looOOKouT! Eli gotza GIAnt toady & he's BrINgIn it!"

That Woman and I regard each other thoughtfully for a moment and then She speaks... 



"Is that...??"

"No.. No I'm afraid not.  Do you think we should tell him?"

"Oh no,  I think some lessons are best learned by doing, don't you agree?" *sly smile*

*ebil smirk* "Oh yes, quite." 

meanwhile, the scene changes. 
Elliot, who had been streaking across the yard (about a 1/4 inch off the grass, flat as a pancake) has suddenly stopped. The physics of the moment captured the following: owing to his great speed his body attitude resembles a puddle of butter that was thrown into a wall sideways...  His face is the picture of instant confusion

He cautiously raises a giant, well tufted paw...  and with lightning speed brings it down on the area of grass just in front of him with a look of pride and accomplishment.

 Then abject horror

In the next two seconds several things happen simultaneously

 Elliot has lept straight up 4 feet in the air.  His great floofy tail is ramrod straight. (and it should be noted the aforementioned look of pride has vanished)

He has flung his whapping paw about 20 times in such rapid succession that it can't be seen with the naked eye. 

  Oliver, who had been standing just off the stage is now has eyes as big as saucers and he has immedately folded up into a loaf position 

  There is a very agressive and angry footlong Alligator Lizard, mouth open, tail whipping sideways

(google photo)

(what Eli saw)

That Woman  casually walks over and gently places her hand down so the victim can crawl up on her arm so she can place it out
well, so that she can move it and rescue poor Elliot who has bolted from the scene in an Ornj firey blur. Poor boy nearly didn't make it through the screen opening and has knocked the screen door from the tracks. 

After placing the poor creature on a brick fence where it casually wanders off she returns to her swing.

She turns to Ms. Stella

"think he learned his lesson?"   

"Doubtful... you know da boyz." 


Ms. Stella
"Funny as hell, you're gonna blog this right?"

"Oh yes most definately."  

"That's good, too bad there wasn't video."

True, maybe next time.

**note; Eli was fine, the Alligator lizard survived, tail intact to intimidate the next unsupecting Ornj mutant**


  1. Ms Stella...and That Woman...the two of you have completely made my entire month. WHAT a vision that all brought to my mind's eye. Oh, Eli, I hope you got something out of that because I would hate to see you go thru that again. You have to watch out for dem alkalators. Dey bites. xoxoxoxoxox

    pee ess I think you were very brave. Yes. I do. Very brave.

  2. Awesome post. We don't know Southern Alligator Lizards but we googled about them and wondered if it DD shed its tail.

  3. @Simba, Yes! they do if they aren't as cantankerous as the one poor Eli had the misfortune of meeting! MOL

  4. Oh my, yes, a video would have been fun, but I can so imagine all of that happening!

  5. Haha! We be Eli and Oliver really didn't learn their lesson and if they come across a alligator leezard again, they will do the same thing!!

  6. Ah aha hahahahahahahahahaaaaa! That was the best story I have heard all year! I guess those little Orange Squirts gotted the lesson of their young lives today!

    But you know what the best part is? The BEST part is that beeyootiful floofy face picture of your beeyootiful self at the beginning of the bloggy today. It makes me all melty inside.

  7. Bwaa! Haa! Haa!
    me LOVES it when bratty younglings get their due! >
    Yous described it so well, mes could see it in my mind!
    Please let them do somthing equally and exciting for yous to writes about soon! (Guffah! Guffah!)
    Me is still laughing....

  8. We only ever see tiny lizards on our deck and then we can't even get to them!


We love to hear from you xoxo!