Ms. Stella Has Her Say:

Hello sweet children, let me tell you an after Meowloween scary story, MY story.

Our tail begins on a sunny morning...

In which we find me a bit under the weather from something I ate...

and the Human got whacked and did the unthinkable...

...yes, that is my pink tounge sticking out...

So this whole misunderstanding is no big deal and if the human would have only listened to me in the first place she wouldn’t have been all put out and hysterical. But more importantly, I would not have been so unceremoniously dumped in the carrier and carted off to the *oh stop being such a big baby* place.

Whatever…

When She got up, when went into the bathroom to check the litterbox because as she put it 'It reeeeks in here!' and she thought someone forgot to cover something. Well, what she found instead was a rather colorful yak that was particularly icky…and stinky... big deal! It’s not like I didn’t try and warn her! After all, I had got up on the bed that night, head butted her pillow like crazy, meyowled and mrrrrrt'd and what did I get for my efforts? A bleary Cyclops eye, a quick pet and then she promptly rolled over and went back to sleep!

Well, she sees the yak & and you’d think it was my brains on the carpet or something! Next she feeds us all, and The Gurl drives her to work. It’s at this point kitties that I realize there has been a major oversight. I’m still in the house. How did this happen? he doors are not open. I am not free ...I'm...trapped!

What. The. Hell.

The Gurl returns. I follow her into her cave; make my intentions known by alternately yowling and pacing and head butting her legs. All to no avail. She merely turns up her racket box and gets dressed.

After some time I became exhausted as you might guess. I went to my spot and napped. NEXT thing I know, The Gurl comes to get me “YAY" I think to myself "I’m FREE! She’s going to open the DOOR!!!” *wrong door* She gives me the ol heave-ho into the PTU. Now that I'm more awake, I’m REALLY mad! I tell her so many, many times all with different intonations and decible levels. I just use all of them as she simply refuses to acknowledge this intolerable situation! She must be deaf!

After an interminable, agonizing, unending millennia That Woman enters the vehicle. I am now in the PTU on her lap. I make know all my protestations about the treatment I have received at the hands of her spawn. She only gives me baby talk back! How RUDE! I am a skillion years older than her in human years and I feel her patronizing tone has just gone too far.

After I stop to take a breath, I hear laughter! That’s right kitties! They are laughing at me! Why? Apparently we have stopped and there’s people all looking at our car, meantime I have collected myself and my breath & start to reassert my position now that it’s quiet.

As soon as the car stops again I can smell where we are. I am not amused.

I do see the man doctor that I like so it’s not a total loss. HE at least LISTENS to me and doesn’t pet me in anyway that I don’t like. He takes me (gently) from the table & removes me from the presence of the plebeians who deem themselves my captors.

I won’t go into details about all the things that happen next but I like my doctor & he talks to me the whole time and I talk right back to him telling him if I don’t like something. He also gives me treats for being a ‘good ol gal’. See? What’s not to love?

He takes me back to room with those two clowns who profess to love me. He explains what I already know! I am purrrrrfectly healthy! There’s no bloods in my pee, (of course not, I think they sucked all the bloods outta me!) there’s no irritation near my …er… tail. I haz no bugz! HA!

And what do I get for my troubles?

That’s right; back into the PTU and back into the machine. Me hates it precious! But by this time I’m tired and wore out from my testings and I only yell at those dorks (who are chatting and laughing the entire time) every now and again.

Home to rest. *sigh*

Thanks so much for all your well fishes! I so appreciate knowing that in spite of Laurel & Hardy: there are those out there who love and care about me!

xoxo
Ms. Stella O'Houligan