Oh my good friends out there in Catblogland. I must tell you a SCARREEEE story for this Hallowwweenie timez.
It all started when I hearded That Woman say 'Tomorrow El, I need you to toss a few treats into Mr. L's house and then zip him up in it for the trip to the V.E.T."
"v.e... um.. v.... um.... vet? vet.. vET?????
WHATTTT? Oh Hellls NO!
Oh Noes! I was taken to the "You Know Who"! Oh I cant'z be tellin you how much I truly hatez dat place. It's just the horrible! You can tellz by my face here. I don't come out willingly; they has to unziiippp me out!
Can you see howz much I tries to hide? The Gurl was in charge of me dis timez so That Woman could getz the photos of da horror.
everyfing dat happended next was so icky it could not be photographed on account of scaring all you other kitties outta at least one of yer lives! That Woman had to help the V.E.T. since I was making it certain in every cat language and with all my strenghts to let them know this was entirely unacceptable! The temperature taking is humiliating enough and I'm certain everycat within this county and the next heard what I had to say about that!
BUT, the worst was yet to come kitties let me tell you!
As I cowered in fear sat there the V.E.T. put a long pointy thing in one of my Frootbats! It was icky! I kept shaking my head trying to tell the idiot that long pointy things don't belong in any self respecting Mancat's ears and I'm CERTAIN is says that on the package somewhere too! But he put it in there anyway and then he smushed it all around! Ok, so even though I made my bats as flat as i could get them they have ways! I fail to see how goggies find this so wonderful! As a last resort I used my hind foot to thump the table. (this was my last attempt at rescue by using morse cat code which didn't work by the way; but the goggie in the next room heard it and started crying like mad!)
So it turns out that I don't have bugs in my bats after all but(I can't believe she had to pay for that information when all she had to do was ASK me! They V.E.T. said they were dirty and the I haz a beast yeast infection. But that's not the worst of it kitties! Twice a day now That Woman has to putz squishy drips in my bats! I'm like "Oh Noes You Don'tz!" Oh it's just the EEEeewwWWWW! So when I see her looking for me I hidez way ups high in my spot!
And if she spots me I tellz her; "Talk to the feet!"
So that's my icky horrible no-good storie for dis Halloween time! She tries to grab me two timez each day & make me 'hold still' and if you could see our wrestling you'd laff! She tries to keep me from getting awayz by giving me the 'mom cat' grab but I'z wise to that! I don't holdz still fer nothing till then she tries some danged Sumo wrestling technique on me by wrapping her whole ginormous leg aroundz me and practically mangling my whole poor self! Now I know what they mean when they say 'manhandling' coz I'm a Mancat & she is "handling" me, "legging" me & even sometimes "footing" me too!
She gavez up having The Gurl try to help cos all She does is laffs so much she starts getting all wet eyes & That Woman laffs too then den and the whole wrestling thing just gets silly and I end up with the WoRsT of it I can tell you! Even if dere is treatz afterwards.
So my wish to all my catzblogger friends is to have a Safe, Happy Halloweenz & Keep the Bugs (And Humans!) outta yer Bats!
I'll be giving out special Halloweenie yowling tonight so keep yer bats up!
Mr. L
I'm sorry Mr L, but you made me laff.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be pleased that Tysie gave me a drty look for laffing though.
Tysie: I will make sure I keepz bugs out of my bats. Its bad enuff that she pricks my bats everyday and then puts this beepy thing near them to check my blood glucose levels. Blood is blood - doesn't she kno that!
Oh, Mr. L, that is the saddest and most horrifying story I have EVER HEARD. The intrusions into your orifices! The indignity! The Horror, the horror. It's scarier than a Stephen King novel!
ReplyDeleteYou see, this is why I do not go to the v-e-t. The Human is unable to force me into the c-a-r-r-i-e-r. She just buyed a new one too, made for goggies. She thinks that it will be easier to force me into it, but, believe me, I will have some not nice things to say about THAT!
Oh Mr. L! That very thoughts make my bloods run cold. You bore that with dignity and fortitude! I have to say also that my mom absolutely fawned over that picture of you in The Gurls's arms. I know for a fact you were looking for v-e-t minsters on the floor there, the part of the floor you could see under her arm, and that was what that was all about.
ReplyDeleteMy mom has to trick me to get me into the carrier to go to the v-e-t which I have to do every 5 weeks. I make it so hard on her! It's part of my job.
xox
Greetings,
ReplyDeleteWow, what a struggle that you put up. In my early days I had to visit the vet for my immunization shots, so I understand.
However in defense of the vet's out there, I had a visit two years ago when a dog took a bite of my hind left and I needed medical attention. They worked real hard to make me better and that it would not get infected.
So take heart, they have only your best in mind.
Wishing you all the best,
Ms Kitty and Egmont
*shivers* I hate the vet, nothing but torture happens there. Mom says Miles even gets the shakes when he is there.
ReplyDeleteI am just glad to know you survived.
It is always great to be back home safe and sound.
bonkbonkbonk