Ms. Stellie here, I gotza little story to tell ya.
(the post might be a tiny bit long but it is SO WORTH IT!)
You'll like it-promise!
It's about a looooong ornj mutant cat
name of Ollie
Y'all know the type
They give you this look
(notice how it's fuzzy? that's cos he won't be still-you think SHE would get it?)
But NO! Alla humans loose their right minds and go
BUT we REAL cats know the truth!
Hidden behind that kitteh face
Those oh-so-goofy innocent eyes lurks
the heart of a demon!
YES IT DOES!
That Woman: Stella, you do have a flair for exaggeration
NO I DON'T!
This one delights in terrorizing
only me the house!
Today is a story of VENGEANCE!
The sweet sound of REVENGE!
(and MUCH MOL'ing! and sniggering)
OOOOOhhh yes, let me tell you.
FIRST The mutant was lured to the
not so hidden Valerian packet on top of the DVD standy thing
That Woman: um Ms. Stella, why don't you share with everyone why there is a piece of glass in front of this lovely piece of furniture?? NO? Cat got your tongue? It's a pee-screen!
Ms. Stella: THAT is NOT the POINT of this STORY!
Stop talking! I'm tellin' the story!
I shall continue...
The movie thing about 4 ft high. And you can see it's got
crap stuff all over the top but does that deter the Flying Menace? NO! He's like 47feet long of ornj and he can land on 1inches of space!
(for the record, NO I'm not jealous, I can do complete back flip somersaults even at my old crotchety age!)
What happened next is rather a mystery
Some say he jumped
Some say he was pushed
Some say he was cajoled by other cats
who should know better
What we do know is this
A few hours after The Gurl came out of her teenage i've-been-out-allnight coma... She heard pitiful cries. She looked
and found us, and Miss Jenga all secure. She even found the other ornj mutant rags.. but she kept hearing pitiful mewling noises that were growing in desperation
Finally, she located the source of the distress
Ollie: "Can you stop MOL'ING and just get mom?!"
The goon had apparently jumped from the dvd stand to the top of the bookcase, misjudged the top and went flying right over the backside. Everything on the top was still in place! I gave his performance a solid 10!
(Now I'm NOT saying we tole him to try it, but after we sorta mentioned there
might be was mouses back there he went all on his own!)
The Gurl had to perform the rescue.
The bookcase is over 6ft tall, you saw
alla crap it has lots of stuff on it. It had to be completely emptied in order to move it.
That's the goon there after he gots out, checking out alla stuffs
(that The Gurl left it all for That Woman to put back too ! MOL! This story just get's better n'better!)
You can see here he's trying to be a slinky
Lesson of the day wee kitties
You prolly shouldn't oughta play whappy foots with grumpy ole gurl cats who might then decide to play a little prank on your newbie goonish self.
Wednesday's Child Indeed!
And it's not even the ides of March yet!
As for me? Best. Day. Evar!
(well, next to that time I flipped out That Woman when she was sleepin... but that's a story for another time.)
Ms. Stella O'Houligan