Heya HepKats & Groovy LadyCats!
We need to convene!
We need to protest!
We need to teach our humans to READ
and to COUNT!
Far too long have we been cheated I tell you!
This gross neglect is unconscionable
and That Woman in particular needs to be taken to task!
Let me share this explosive information I found just lying around the house!
Not even on the interwebs!
There I was, lounging on my footie stool, waiting for That Woman to sit and dole out the evening treats.
She obliged and left a small pile of several next to my toeless foot (as the homage she must pay me since...well, I'd rather not 'go there' right now -sniff-) Anyhow,
When she was done
being a skinflint rationing out our meager allotments she casually laid the bag next to me.
(Was she toying with me? So close to Catmas?
Well, I. Will. Show. Her!)
On the back of the bag of treats is printed very clearly our Magna Carta; our very own Civil Rights of Felis Domesticus!
If I am reading this correctly, for a cat the size of
Rhode Island Miss Jack, she gets to snarf up 30 treats PER DAY!
It's a cryin' shame!
It's a cryin' shame!
Do you know, That Woman feels generous when only misering out a miniscule 3 per sitting twice a day! Even I can count those on one paw and I'm missing a toe! Poor Miss Jack being robbed of 25 treats a per day~
If you timez that by her age and by all the years she didn't get her FAIR SHARE she is due for the mother of all Catmas deliveries!
Upon further inspection I realized this sad truth;
I, being a particularly fine specimen of feline athleticism and strength
am relegated to only between 16 to 22 treats per day!
(rest assured I will be addressing the aforesaid apparent error in a letter to the company soon.) Really, based on my superior BMI compared to Miss Jacks, er... well, I don't think she really has one of those, she sort of just rolls along. Now and again a tiny appendage will stick out but it's use is only to make minor course corrections.
And don't even get me started on the poor 'poids du chat' those poor buggers across the pond will have to fight their own battles.
KITTIES! Make sure your HUMANS see this chart and if necessary POST IT ON THE FRIDGE (right next to their ice cream so they will be sure to see it when the waddle up to the ice box!
PeEssSS: Note to humans; it's no use hiding this; I have taken pains to make sure that copies have been littered across the nation and the originals kept under secret lock & key with only binary code access and full CAT scan.