I got a story to tell ya
You will LOVE this!
Southern Alligator Lizard
ME (Ms. Stella)
Beautiful morning, sun shining, sprinklers going, warm already at 75 degrees. That Woman is enjoying her cuppa on the patio swing; I prefer to sit on the bench just adjacent, just out of arms reach; naturally.
Enter the players...
Ollie & Elliot foundering somewhere in the bushes, a great rustling is underway and suddenly, there is a great Ornj floof tearing across the grass towards us...
Oliver is yelling to us. "HeY yoU gUyz looOOKouT! Eli gotza GIAnt toady & he's BrINgIn it!"
That Woman and I regard each other thoughtfully for a moment and then She speaks...
"No.. No I'm afraid not. Do you think we should tell him?"
"Oh no, I think some lessons are best learned by doing, don't you agree?" *sly smile*
*ebil smirk* "Oh yes, quite."
meanwhile, the scene changes.
Elliot, who had been streaking across the yard (about a 1/4 inch off the grass, flat as a pancake) has suddenly stopped. The physics of the moment captured the following: owing to his great speed his body attitude resembles a puddle of butter that was thrown into a wall sideways... His face is the picture of instant confusion
He cautiously raises a giant, well tufted paw... and with lightning speed brings it down on the area of grass just in front of him with a look of pride and accomplishment.
Then abject horror
In the next two seconds several things happen simultaneously
Elliot has lept straight up 4 feet in the air. His great floofy tail is ramrod straight. (and it should be noted the aforementioned look of pride has vanished)
He has flung his whapping paw about 20 times in such rapid succession that it can't be seen with the naked eye.
Oliver, who had been standing just off the stage is now has eyes as big as saucers and he has immedately folded up into a loaf position
There is a very agressive and angry footlong Alligator Lizard, mouth open, tail whipping sideways
(what Eli saw)
That Woman casually walks over and gently places her hand down so the victim can crawl up on her arm so she can place it out of...er...
well, so that she can move it and rescue poor Elliot who has bolted from the scene in an Ornj firey blur. Poor boy nearly didn't make it through the screen opening and has knocked the screen door from the tracks.
After placing the poor creature on a brick fence where it casually wanders off she returns to her swing.
She turns to Ms. Stella
"think he learned his lesson?"
"Doubtful... you know da boyz."
"Funny as hell, you're gonna blog this right?"
"Oh yes most definately."
"That's good, too bad there wasn't video."
True, maybe next time.
**note; Eli was fine, the Alligator lizard survived, tail intact to intimidate the next unsupecting Ornj mutant**