Thursday, September 09, 2010
YES! You see the above photo? That's RIGHT, it's ME on MY Pedestal!
The other felines in this house have been presuming to take over MY blog (the unmitigated nerve!) I have also continually been slighted in the treats category as well as having to endure alien smells and fur remnants on My woobie. Well, I've had just about as much as anycat can take.
I saw where That Woman had the bloody cheek to complain that I was 'widdling in the hallway' . How often do I need to remind Her that I don't speak Hooman? HEELLoooOOO??? I see no reason why I should cease my protests until my just demands are met and I am provided with wet cat food on a continuing basis anytime I ask for it!
I'd also like to make a correction to a prior post by 'Larry'. That male cat sure has some ego. I'm here to tell you he does NOT in fact, weigh only 5 lbs.; I saw the copy of the VET bill and it was clearly written on there that he weighs 8 pounds! (And here I thought only Gurlie Cats lied about their weight~sheesh!) Furthermore, if he thinks he is the 'king of frootbats' he's got another thing coming! My given name is Stellaluna. I was given that name by the Gurl when she and I were both very small. She named me after a character in one of her books. It's the story of a giant Fruit Bat! She and That Woman love Janell Cannon's books so much they still have the collection. So THERE Mr. Wannabe Mancat!
While we are on the subject of weight, those two cats that post from yesterday for Wordless Wednesday? Well let me tell you something (In all sympathy with Mr. NoFurNo-my heart throb) That striped one weighs nearly 15 lbs now! And the Pied? Well, That Woman insists that she's just 'short' but that cat could give Laughing Budda door-stop statues a run for their money. (In fact, I'm sure I've heard That Woman refer to her as a door-stop) And unlike my heart throb, they don't have medical conditions! I'm certain the title was 'Wordless Wednesday' was because those two had probably eaten all the captions! (you know, like fortune cookies MOL!)
Then we have the issue of the other Queen in the house. Yes, you read that right... the Other Queen is who That Woman calls 'Jenga'. She came here 13 new moons ago... SHE gets to live in That Womans' room! SHE gets to have That Woman (and the bed) all night to herself! SHE even gets the new cat tree that was MINE because as That Woman tried feebly to explain: "Now Stel, Miss Jenga requires more vertical real estate than you do and since you weren't using it just deal with it!" To which I replied *HHhhiiiiiiissssss* and backed it up with 1'The Claw!" That taught her a lesson! The nerve of her speaking to my like that. Appalling! Just because One chooses not to use their own property, it's still THEIRS! *sigh*
You can all clearly see now how I have been made to suffer and am well within my rights to wage wars of protest.
I should have the cat tree. I should get the hooman bed to sleep in at night (with the hooman in it for warmth) AND my woobie should be unsoiled of silly boycat smells or other catfurs on it! Wet cat food is my right~not a privilege! Cat treats should be given anytime I ask, not just when I come in from the patio when she has the nerve to think she has summoned me. I know all my cat blogosphere friends out there will back me up on this.
So to all the cats within the realm of my communications I'm Mad as Hell, and I'm NOT going to take it anymore. Do you hear that sound?
Ya, that's the sound of of a different can opener... and it's openin a can of 'WhuupCat' so be forewarned, be smart and stay the heck off my woobie if you know what's good for ya! I'm watchin you!
Ms. Stella(luna) O'Houligan
1 I don't use 'The Bitey' ever on my humans, My claws are much more sharp & and do considerably more damage than ANY bite I could inflict... Besides, it takes WEEKS to get that hooman taste outta yer mouth!"