Monday, January 30, 2012

The King Has Proclaimed!

King Spitty has decreed that we (oh, he was sure to graciously include the two ornj goons and since we don't want any Royal Repercussions we (meaning I) will include them too.) be humbly bestowed this most auspicious honor! 
Thanks Sir Spitz~

Versatile Blogger Award 

These are the VBA rules:
  • Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy. (check)
  • Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.(check)
  • Next, select 15 blogs/ however many bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.  (ummmm. check)
  • Nominate those 15  bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award. (check)
  • Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself. (check)
Since I too think 15 is too many, I'm following Spitty's lead and going for the 
 Fantastic Five:

Now for my Seven Things (now really... here's where I could go on all day!)
1.  I am 15 human years old which makes me like a skillion in Cat years... BUT!  I play like a baby kitty and can still jump 4 feet in the air! (on the grass outside, don't worry,) That Woman keeps such a microscopic eye on my every movement (if you catch my meaning) I'm exhausted just thinking about it.  See?  
2.  I come running for Tuna juice or the treat bag, which ever comes first. (And believe you, me! It's not nearly often enough!)  Meantime, mashed potatos and gravy are always welcome or one of these when they are fresh>>>
  
3. It is NOT true that I spend my hours napping so often that I am confused with small wooden carvings. I give the following example...  


I know, not even close right!

4.  I am often confused with my housemates, so here is a photo of each of ME>   (there will be test later)
NOT ME>>This is Jenga

ME ME ME >>>

NOT ME>>>Miss Jenga again!


ME ME ME>>>


NOT ME>>>>This is That Scrappy Cat my arch nemesis!

NOT ME AGAIN! > A very surprised Miss Jenga

And I get this one ALL THE TIME!!!  SO not me!>>> Miss Jack

I lied, the post is too long, there will be no final examination. 
5.   I have been called CATZILLA by some very unrespectful mongrels and I assure you, they have paid the price!  Here is a photo of the offending vermin. I have mounted their heads on my Cat tree.

 6.   I don't snuggle, so That Woman just stop trying ok?  Save her blood for the full transfusion she will need if those vermin remain here much longer.

 how serious is this face???
See what happened to that last cat that introoded onto my woobie?  I have locked her in the mirror!, and my other self stands guard to keep her there!

                                                                                                     
 (cue ebil laffters)                  MUUAHHAHAHAHAAaa!
7.  Lastly,  let's see.  I love visiting my blog friends and have over 300 on my blogroll.  It may take a while for me to catch up and I don't always comment but I ALWAYS appreciate the postings as it makes our giant world just that much cozier. 
not that I'm into cozy...I DID make that clear.  Just, figuratively cozier.   Thanks for reading all the way down, I tried to make it more entertaining with photos. 
Ciao! 

Friday, January 27, 2012

Ahhh Caturday!

 when one spends the day lounging
 and dreaming dreams of that special someone
Mmmmpphhhhhhhzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Life Lessons From Ms. Stella

So Here I am Kitties, surveying my domain, when yet again; I am accosted by plebeians!
*sigh*
A Queen's work is never done I'm afraid.
His name ( I'm told such things have names) is Ollie.
Ollie is not the freshest treat in the bag
 Observe closely his countenance.  Note the sloped forehead, wide set eyes, vacant expression. You can see the number of IQ points on his face can't you?
(this is a rhetorical question, of course you can't, as there aren't any )

"BBUUwwhaaaHAHAHAHA.... ahhh...hahah... ahHEM... I crack myself up"
Anyhow...

Since he persists in pestering me for lessons on attack skills, I will again attempt to enlighten the wee mite. I   I enlist a guinea pig  helper. 
*Note: it's important to enlist the help of someone the neophyte knows to prevent intimidation and therefore lack of proper concentration*

Here is Elliott, he is marginally brighter than his siblicat.
And thus, We begin...
 
Ms. Stella:  "You there! Fluffy raggish thing.  Are you ready to assist in training your fellow littermate?"

Elliott: " Oh Yes, If It Please Your Majesty!"

Ms. Stella: "Good boy!"

Ms. Stella: "O-lolliberry? Observe please the correct whapping technique."

Ms. Stella continues: "When the intended victim target wanders close enough you need to reach out with your paw (that's the thing with the five sharps at the end of your leg there) and whap them like THIS!"

Elliott: "Oh Thank You Your Royal Highness, may i have another?"

Ms. Stella: "In My own time fluffy, heel!." 

Elliott: "Oh Thank You Majesty!"

Elliott: "Oh dear faithful viewers, you may wish to avert your gaze from HRH."  
 
Ms. Stella: "All right now O-whateveryournamewas...  it's your turn, you may approach Our Royal presence."



later that same day...

Ms. Stella: "It's back again isn't it?"




ECS ALERT!

Kitties!
This is a test of the Emergency Cat- Broadcast System
(here after to be known as the ECS)


Something haz started over at my good friend Nellie's House!
I know Miss Nel is madd as a wet cat! BUT, if this thing spreads we will ALL be at risk!

BLOG RATIONING!
yes, you read that right... RATIONING (as IF!)

What in the name of Hello Kitty is her human thinking???

I tole Nellie,   I says:
You tell yer mum that if no sleep, cranky humans and rabid comment checking is good for the rest of them it's good enuf for hers too!  I mean where does she get off? 
Three measly days (out of at least elebenity squillion hours a week)
to our beloved Nellie?
The NERVE!  AND what's WORSE? 
oh yes, it's worse... 
During those pathetic few minutes she gives, she is really
setting an example!
She's gonna be givin alla humans room to whine uncontrollably! 

Oh I can just hear it now

"But Ms. Stella, I'm  soo tiiiiired, Nellies mom has a chart!..."
"But Mr. Spitfire, I have to earn money to buy you treats too just like Nellies mom"

"But Mr. Diskers... be reasonable! I'm sure Ms. Stella has a room papered with photos of you already!"

"But- (looking at all 13 of her owners)- A girl haz to have time to coordinate such fashion wonders!"

well, OK, so maybe that last one was stretching it a bit by her own admission,
but you get the idea!

we'll have a revolution on our paws and before you know it they'll be rioting!

We must ACT! 
(and you can see that ACT and CAT have the same letters!  It's a sign!)

 Time is now!


We must nip this in the BUD
 (extra points if you are old enough to remember the actor famed for saying that!)

Ok all you kitties out there whose rights will be infringed upon
Go, Now!
Make Posters!
Make Flyers!
Let your voices be HEARD!

I've done my job; I've alerted
Now this lert needs a nap
to ruminate on further ideas of quashing this sedition


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

King of the...


Ollie & Eli: "Oh Hai Mom! See how cute we are?"
Ollie & Eli:  "Aren't we just your little Angels?"
Mom:  "Ya, right do I look like I been sniffin catnip all day?"
Ollie & Eli: "Nah, we iz just like... ya know... grooming"
Ollie:  *grunting* "well, ok... we are energetically grooming"

Eli: "HAHA!  I haz you now!"
Ollie: "Dude! Tic-Tac!"

Ollie: "dude, you better get over yourself"

 Mom:  *shouts from kitchen* "BOYZ!  Knock it off before one of you comes crashing 6 feet to the floor!"

Eli & Ollie: "WHA?? We can DO that???!  SAAWeet! That's like, like, flyin! Eli get back up here! "

Ollie & Eli:  "WOAH! Ok Mom, we won't, you can put the loaded squirt gun down!" 
Mom: *muttering from kitchen* "you boyz think it's all a game till somekitty haz ta go to the vets!"

Ollie: "Eli, mum said to knock it off!"  
Eli:  "Ya, I fink she meant I could knock you off!"  

 Eli: "Ok, one of us hazta get down, Ollie, you go since you is ornj."  
Ollie: "DUDE, we are both ornj!  YOU get down!" 

 Ollie: "Heh, heh, heh..."The Ozzman wins the day!"

Eli: "the Ozzman? MOL!, more like the ODDMAN ya goon!  
Don't worry, when Mom leaves, I'll be back!" 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

DIBS!

 All right
 A note to 'Thing 1 & Thing 2'
This WHOLE TOP AREA are MINE! 
YES! I need them both~!
and PeEESss
All you lively Mancats out there, note how the ledge of the top platform defines my svelte shape!
Jenga Bait indeed!